13C Another FINAL Revision

game/script/13C.fang-and-anon-go-to-beach-and-prom.rpy

@@ -2289,12 +2289,14 @@ label chapter_13C:
     A "..."
 
     show anon sad flip with dissolve
-    A "...We might not even see each other again..."
+    A "...We might not see each other again..."
 
-    A "I don't want to hold you back or make you waste time waiting for me."
+    A "I don't want to hold you back or make you waste life waiting for me..."
 
     A "But...{w=0.5} I'll never forget you, Lucy..."
 
+    A "Never."
+
     show fang surprised with dissolve
     Lucy "..."
 
@@ -2312,31 +2314,52 @@ label chapter_13C:
 
     Lucy "..."
 
-    "She lets out a loud sigh."
+    A "Lucy...{w=0.5} it’s okay..."
 
-    Lucy "...I’ve never told this to anyone other than Trish...{w=0.5} but there was this guy I dated back in my freshman year."
+    "Lucy lets out a loud sigh."
 
-    Lucy "We only lasted a week though."
-
-    Lucy "Same with the next, and the one after..."
+    Lucy "...I’ve never told this to anyone other than Trish..."
 
     Lucy "..."
 
-    Lucy "I’ve never had a relationship that’s lasted more than a week..."
+    Lucy "There was this guy I dated back in my freshman year."
 
-    Lucy "Eventually, I gave up on dating..."
+    Lucy "He was...{w=0.5} only one who was interested in my plain and dull ass."
+
+    Lucy "We only lasted a few months though."
+
+    Lucy "I...{w=0.5} up driving him away with all my..."
+
+    Lucy "..."
 
     show fang angry with dissolve
-    "She grits her teeth in anger."
+    "Lucy grits her teeth in anger."
+
+    Lucy "I fucked it all up by dumping my baggage!"
 
     Lucy "Every time, I fucked it all up by dumping my baggage, or by being some social retard!"
 
-    "She covers her face with her hands."
+    "Lucy covers her face with her hands."
 
-    Lucy "Anon...{w=0.5} never wanted to dump all my baggage on you..."
+    Lucy "After he broke up with me, no one else would even consider dating me."
+
+    Lucy "I became that weirdo everyone avoided!"
+
+    Lucy "..."
+
+    Lucy "...Eventually, I gave up on dating altogether..."
+
+    #TODO: Choreography kino here 2
+    "Lucy lets out a sob."
+
+    Lucy "Anon...{w=0.5} I never wanted to dump all my baggage on you..."
 
     Lucy "It's wasn’t right!"
 
+    Lucy "It's...{w=0.5} wasn’t right..."
+
+    Lucy "..."
+
     #TODO: Choreography kino here
     "I move to place a hand on Lucy's shoulder."
 
@@ -2344,7 +2367,7 @@ label chapter_13C:
 
     A "You can let it all out."
 
-    "She takes a deep breath, then exhales."
+    "Lucy takes a deep breath."
 
     show fang anguish
     show anon concerned flip